


Lovefool

by Rain Ayo (wolfielyall)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically a sad backstory, Cheating, Drug Abuse, M/M, Miscommunication, Past physical abuse, Seriously Viktor?, drug overdose, eventual victuuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-15 02:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11221593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfielyall/pseuds/Rain%20Ayo
Summary: There had been something electric seeing him for the first time.  Out of everyone in the club that night, why had it been him?A story of how Christophe hit the bottom and was saved from himself.





	1. Dear, I Fear We're Facing a Problem

Viktor Nikiforov’s fashion was for men and women that want to look good. Finely tailored suits, jackets, and shoes were waiting for you in an array of bold colors and patterns. In a Nikiforov suit you were powerful and strong, but clearly making a statement and ensuring that no one forgot about you. 

While still being a fairly unknown brand, Viktor had reached impressive heights. He dressed a secondary character in one of the most recent Cannes Festival films and had dressed the Best Male Performer for their performance at the Grammys. Menswear wasn’t as celebrated or talked about as women’s fashion, but it was proving hard not to find the man or his work intriguing. 

Viktor could have taken an easier route and went with women’s fashion. It was highly celebrated and certainly garnered more attention, but that would have been too easy. Really, he wanted to dress himself. His focus in school was tailoring and he loved every minute of it. The perfection and structure suited him, allowing him to show off his flare with incredible fabrics and embellishments.

The drama of Alexander McQueen and the classic taste of Karl Lagerfeld were some of the biggest influences in his designs. He had opened his own boutique three years ago, and spent the time cultivating his clientele and building up his presence online. It was a slow climb to his current status, but it was highly satisfying. This year was going to be his first step towards a global stage. He was ready to become a household name like Louis Vuitton or Chanel. 

Viktor was at his best first thing in the morning. He arrived hours before the store opened with a cup of coffee and a smile on his face. He was currently planning the steps that he would be taking so that by this time next year he could have his first Fashion Week runway show. The location was still up in the air at the moment as well as what kind of collection he wanted to showcase.

Despite the soft music he had playing, he heard the sound of the door buzzer indicating the arrival of his employees. They would be focused on counting the till and prepping for the store opening in 30 minutes, so he didn’t expect anyone to bother him just yet. He was drawing and the collection of designs he was amassing wasn’t quite working well with one another. He wasn’t certain what he wanted out of his work, but he was liking them. For the moment he considered which ones to add to the stack of potential client designs.

The second time the buzzer went off, Viktor glanced at the clock with a small frown. It was much later. Someone was running late, again.

“Good morning!” The bright voice came from the striking redhead, who was finally bringing him his coffee refill. He grinned and accepted the coffee from Mila. “Store is open, boss.”

Mila was his business manager and she was easily the best hire he had made. She ran all of the business end of things, which made it infinitely easier for him to focus on the design work. She also looked amazing in one of his hand tailored suits, never going to any meeting without wearing one. It brought in some rather unique and highly sought after customers. 

“Chris still isn’t here,” Mila frowned worriedly. She pulled her red hair back into a messy bun. “This isn’t good. Do we need to stage an intervention?”

“I honestly don’t know, Mila.” Viktor ran a hand through his hair. He was worried about his best friend. He had been worried for years if he was being honest.

“Let’s not play dumb. Something very good had him and now it’s suddenly gone. He hasn’t been in for two days. Anywhere else, he wouldn’t have a job,” Mila said.

“I don’t know what to do, Mila. He stopped talking to me,” Viktor sighed. He put down a recent drawing. He had been playing with color and new silhouettes, but the story wasn’t coming together nicely. 

“What I’m trying to get to is that we are a family and no matter what stupid is going on, we should confront him about it,” Mila said. She poked him in the shoulder briefly. “Together.”

“Oh...well, yeah.” Viktor should have seen that one coming. Maybe the stress was starting to get to him. 

Mila smirked. She probably would have done it with or without his approval. “Today, even if it means we go to his house.”

Viktor nodded with relief. He didn’t want to wait, but there was still a full day of work ahead of them. Mila pulled out her planner and immediately ticked off the to do list. Luckily most of his meetings were over the phone, but there were a few interviews for a potential assistant/receptionist that he had been avoiding for a while.

“I’ll call Georgi and we’ll corner Chris today at the end of the day,” Mila promised.

“Thanks Mila,” Viktor smiled before going back to his drawings. 

*

It was almost two hours after Christophe was supposed to have arrived. Viktor slammed the door shut behind him and took a deep breath. He was wound way too tight after yelling at the sales clerk. It didn’t matter that Christophe was late or irresponsible. He was Viktor’s best friend and no one was allowed to say those terrible things about him. 

Keith might have had a point that Christophe was supposed to be training him and helping him build his client list. He might have been right to say that it was wrong that Christophe shouldn’t be allowed to be late or show up whenever he felt like. But to say that he a joke? That Christophe wasn’t actually talented, but lucky? Viktor wasn’t going to stand for that.

Keith had been arguing too loudly with Mila and Viktor had had enough. He stormed out of his workroom and put his finger in Keith’s face. “Don’t you dare say anything like that again. Keep your mouth shut!”

The stoic stylist-in-training turned an unhealthy shade of red before turning back to his work. Viktor knew he had gone too far, so he ran back to his workroom.

“Good morning, lovelies,” Christophe sang as he waltzed into the store. 

Viktor heard a muffled ‘fuck this’ and the doorbell chimed signaling Keith leaving the store. That made him the fifth sales clerk in the last six months to leave because of Chris. Viktor was going to need to do a lot more interviews now. Why now when he was about to make this major leap in his business. Viktor gave himself another moment to collect himself before he went out to greet his best friend.

“Good morning, fearless leader,” Christophe cooed as Viktor came out. He draped an arm around Viktor and gave him a bright smile.

“You’re late again.” 

The blonde shrugged and pulled away. He pulled out a folder with different swatches and designs already ready. “Don’t worry. My first appointment is in 30 minutes. They will be leaving with a whole new wardrobe and then some.”

Despite the lack of punctuality, Christophe wasn’t over exaggerating. He was the best stylist Viktor knew. His clients were extremely happy and they went home with significantly less cash every time. Viktor’s business never would have gone so far without his salesmanship. 

“You’re running all of my sales associates off,” Viktor said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“They don’t have the skill or the eye to keep up,” Christophe shrugged. 

“You’re supposed to be training them,” Viktor frowned. This was a tired old argument. He knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Christophe like this. “I wish you cared just a little bit.”

Christophe stiffened for just a moment before waving Viktor off. Was that actual concern or was Viktor seeing things? “Don’t worry, cheri. I can handle the work and the customers. You don’t need anyone else,” the blond smiled. 

Viktor shook his head sadly. “Just...try not to be late tomorrow. You have to open now.”

Christophe winked and went to his desk. That wasn’t a promising confirmation. Viktor was going to need to ensure that everything was ready the next morning. Unless their planned intervention somehow managed to succeed. That was looking less promising than Viktor liked. 

Mila frowned as Viktor headed back to his workroom. “Georgi will be here at 3pm,” she said, softly. 

Viktor was relieved. 3 o’clock couldn’t come soon enough. “Can we close early?”

His business manager nodded. “I’ll close up.”

“Thanks.” 

It was easier to go back to work with a concrete plan. He started making phone calls and asked Mila to reschedule the interviews for the following day. He could hear Christophe working with his appointment on the floor and tried to focus on getting his suppliers back onboard. 

He hung up the phone as the doorbell went off, signifying the exit of Christophe’s appointment. It was after noon and Viktor paused to consider lunch. He scrolled to his favor delivery restaurant on his phone only to drop it as a sudden crash shook the entire store. The front door had slammed into the adjacent wall. 

“Christophe Giacommeti, you stupid bastard! How dare you! Who the hell do you think you are?”


	2. You love me no longer, I know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor is starting to get the picture and he tries to gain an ally for his schemes.

_What now?_

When Viktor ran out of his workroom, he wasn’t expecting to see a strange brunette poking Christophe in the chest. He was at least a head shorter than the blond and the fury in his eyes was enough to make even Viktor feel extremely uncomfortable. 

Christophe, however, was unimpressed. He stood stiffly with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at the brunnette. “What are you doing here, Katsuki? This is my job.” 

“Good! Everyone should know what kind of monster you are. You just think that you can toy with people and that’s all right,” Katsuki bristled, refusing to back down. Viktor was growing increasingly more impressed with him. Katsuki looked ready to claw out Christophe’s eyes. 

“I don’t know what you were told, but I made no promises. If he chose to make assumptions that was on him,” Christophe said, rolling his eyes. 

Assumptions? What in the world was Christophe talking about? Mila was coming up behind Viktor and he could imagine the look on her face at the notion of witnessing something especially juicy. Viktor just tried to keep up with the comments and anger pouring off of both of them in waves. Since when did his best friend act like this? Much less talking down to anyone in such a public manner?

“You are a liar!” Katsuki yelled, shoving Christophe hard into the desk behind him.

Christophe’s eyes widened in surprise. “You little bitch!” He lunged forward to punch Katsuki.

Luckily for everyone involved, Mila and Viktor stepped in before the hit could connect. Viktor wrapped his arms around Christophe and grabbed his arm. Mila stood between Christophe and Katsuki, making it impossible for the taller blond to hit Katsuki without hitting Mila first. No one wanted to go that far. She didn’t fight fair. 

“That’s enough, both of you,” Viktor ordered. “Mila, escort Katsuki to my workroom.”

The strange brunnette pulled away from Mila’s grasp. “This has nothing to do with you.” He turned his formidable glare on Viktor, who wavered for just a moment. 

“You are in my shop and attempting to attack my employee. I’d rather not have to call the authorities,” Viktor said. 

Katsuki paled and looked away worriedly. All of the anger in him depleted at the first sign of threat. Viktor almost felt guilty, but now was not the time to feel too bad about it. At Viktor’s nod, Mila just pushed him all the way into the workroom, shutting the door behind them. 

“What is this about, Chris?” Viktor asked, letting go of his friend.

Christophe kept his back to Viktor. “Nothing important. One of my dates just got the wrong idea.”

Dates? Was that what he was calling the string of sex partners he brought home with him almost every night of the week? And how in the world did one of them get the wrong idea? In the ten years that he and Viktor had been friends, Christophe was nothing but direct and clear. There was never a question that he didn’t care about any of them. 

Pushing silver hair out of his face for a moment, Viktor sighed. “I’m going to talk to Katsuki. You will not be leaving here anytime soon. Whatever is going on, we’re going to talk about this. If you even try to leave, I’m sending Mila after you.”

Christophe spun around to face Viktor. Viktor wasn’t sure if he was more worried about talking or Mila chasing after him through the city. “This isn’t about you.”

“I’m making it about us. All of this...it’s going to end or we’re going to be making permanent changes.”

“Viktor!”

The silver haired designer turned without acknowledging his friend. He went into his workroom and directed Mila to keep an eye on the blond. There wouldn’t be any escape for him. 

Alone with Katsuki, Viktor didn’t know where to start though. All of this was more information than he’d had about Chris in almost a year. It made him more worried about what he didn’t know and what extremes Chris’s life was reaching at this point. How much of this was his fault for being more involved in his business? 

No, now was a bad time to get worked up and think about what ifs. He had to deal with what was in front of him and find a way to do...something. He didn’t think he could fix this, but Viktor wasn’t the sort to just sit on his hands when his friends were in trouble. He ran a hand through his hair and willed the last of his nerves away. He stopped by the stool that Katsuki was seated on and held out a hand in introduction. 

“Let me start by apologizing for my idiot best friend and properly introduce myself, Viktor Nikiforov.”

Katsuki looked at the hand and blushed. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Nikiforov. I shouldn’t have done this here. I was just so upset. My friend...I didn’t realize…”

Well, he looked like an idiot holding out his hand. So Viktor quickly grabbed Katsuki’s and shook it. “Start with the introduction, we’ll get to that part in a moment.”

“Oh...uh...Katsuki Yuuri,” the brunette said with a renewed blush.

Viktor smiled faintly and pulled up a stool beside him. “So I’m gathering that your friend and Christophe had a…’thing’.”

“It wasn’t a ‘thing’.” Katsuki frowned and shook his head. “They’ve been dating for over two months.” 

His eyes must have nearly jumped out of his head at that. “Ah...dating? Really? Christophe?”

“My best friend, Phichit. They met at a club and they were pretty heavy handed. I had been with him that night, but Phichit told me to go home. I didn’t need to be a third wheel anyway.” Katsuki shook his head and Viktor could agree with that sentiment. “Phichit came home happy as can be, showing off pictures of Christophe’s cat. They talked for a while via text after that. Then Christophe finally agreed to meet with him again. They’ve been together right up until three nights ago.”

Katsuki’s expression darkened and he looked ready to murder Christophe once again. Viktor was feeling relieved that he wasn’t on the receiving end of that anger. “Phichit went to Christophe’s apartment. Christophe hadn’t shown up for their date. That’s when he found him in the middle of a threesome with some blonde chick and some body builder guy. Phichit came home and it took him a day to even be able to tell me what he saw. He’s not even crying yet. He’s just frozen in shock. He can’t do anything. He won’t eat. That bastard hurt my friend!”

Viktor gulped and wished he could back away without making it obvious. “All right…”

Katsuki blinked, most likely realizing where he was once again. “I know he’s your friend, but I can’t forgive him for what he did.”

“Give me just a moment to try to piece this together.” Viktor did some basic math and realized that somehow whatever his thing with this Phichit was, it actually had lined up perfectly with the sudden and unexpected change they had seen in Christophe. It also ended exactly when he stopped showing up again. Whatever was really going on, Viktor knew one thing. 

He needed to make sure that Christophe was dating Phichit again. 

Looking at Katsuki, he realized that this was going to require a lot of work. The stern expression was doing nothing to inspire confidence. If Viktor was going to be able to make this current mess in his business work and if he was going to be able to actually find a way to make his best friend happy, he just needed to suck it up and make this happen. 

“They need to fix this,” Viktor said finally. He looked at Katsuki hopefully. “He was actually really happy these last two months. Moreso then I’ve seen him be in almost the entire time I’ve known him.”

“What are you talking about?” Katsuki was going to require a lot of convincing. Viktor could work with this. His friend’s happiness was at stake here. 

“Look, how much do you know about Christophe?” Viktor asked. 

“He works here, and probably more detail about his cat than I should have to know. Phichit just talked about what they did together. He didn’t write a biography or anything for me.” He was starting to lose him already. This was bad.

Viktor held up a hand, trying to pause things even if that wasn’t actually going to do anything. “Wait, okay. I’m going to tell you things that he probably hasn’t talked about. I don’t know if he’s told Phichit, but I don’t think you should tell Phichit. Chris needs to be the one to talk about himself. I just want you to understand that this is a lot bigger than you’ve seen, okay?”

Katsuki arched a thin brow and tilted his head to the side. He wasn’t leaving, so Viktor was going to take that as at least interest. He put a hand to his forehead and tried to decide how best to explain all of this. 

“When I met Christophe 10 years ago in college, he was pretty much what he is now. A carefree but talented guy with a penchant for clubs and sex. He drank a lot and he did some drugs, but it didn’t stop him from being an amazing stylist and salesman. On a rather low evening, Christophe told me about his family...or lack thereof. He was 12 when his mother was diagnosed and later died of cancer. His father didn’t take it well. They spent most of the next 6 years fighting, until Christophe’s father saw him in bed with a boy. He beat him within an inch of his life and then tossed him out. I don’t even know how Christophe managed to go to college with all of that,” Viktor said. 

“Having a bad childhood doesn’t excuse cheating on someone,” Katsuki insisted with a frown. 

“No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t mean that he did anything right. But he lost his mother and from all I can tell Phichit might be the closest anyone has gotten to him since his mother died. I don’t know what any of that means, but I do know that he deserves to finally have something stable in his life. He doesn’t need to party every night and have thousands of anonymous sex partners. For a while there I actually thought that he was going to be okay, and then he stopped showing up for work two days ago. That has to mean something,” Viktor explained. 

“Say all of this is true. What difference does it make?” Katsuki asked.

Viktor took a deep breath. “My friend is hurting. I’ve kept him as close as he’d let me since we met. I’m happy to have him work for me, but this isn’t a perfect situation for anyone. In fact, I’m worried that if he really was happy with Phichit, Chris will do something drastic. He’s already a drinker. I’d like to think he isn’t doing more, but I’m not foolish enough to make that assumption. My friend needs help.”

There was a flash in Katsuki’s eyes. Viktor wanted it to be worry. Wanted it to be something that would be good for Chris. If Christophe ever wanted to make peace with Phichit or even fix their relationship, he would certainly need to go through this dangerous brunette. 

“What do you want me to do?” Katsuki asked.

“Right now? Take care of Phichit. If I can do anything for you, just let me know,” Viktor said. “I’m going to be confronting Chris with all of this today. We had already planned to talk with him before you even showed up. Let us take care of Chris and we’ll make sure that you and your friend don’t have any more reason to worry about him, okay?”

It was quiet for a long while. Viktor could hear the faint clacking of Mila typing on her laptop from the other room. 

“All right,” Katsuki finally said, taking a deep breath. “All right. I’m going to help Phichit no matter what. I know what I saw when I saw the two of them together. This whole thing didn’t make sense. It wasn’t right at all. If what you say is true, then maybe Christophe can earn back Phichit’s trust. If he does anything though…”

“You can beat him senseless and I’ll even hold him down for you,” Viktor promised.

Katsuki nodded once. That seemed to be satisfactory for him. He stood up. “Give me your number. I want you to keep me updated.”

Viktor nodded. “Of course.” They exchanged numbers and Viktor stood as well. “I’ll escort you out.” He held the door for Katsuki and they walked right passed Christophe and Mila without a word. Katsuki gave Christophe one more glare before finally leaving and taking much of the tension in the room with him. 

“Mila, can we close up now?” Viktor headed to her desk and checked the calendar.

“Course, boss, I’ve already prepped the till.” The redhead was clearly ahead of him. 

“We’re not having this discussion here. Let’s pack up and move to my apartment,” Viktor suggested. 

“We’re not having this discussion anywhere, Viktor.” Christophe was glaring at his notes angrily. He was clearly tense and ready to bolt.

“I’ve waited for you to come to me on your own. You’re my best friend and I don’t know what’s going on in your life. I’ve trusted you with my business and my life for years now. I’m not asking you to admit to anything nor will I force you to marry anyone. But I’ve put up with a lot over the years with nothing back from you. The least you can do is come have some drinks with us and actually talk to us.” 

There was another uncomfortable pause and Viktor saw how much his words were making Christophe anxious. Viktor went to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t run away from us while we’re trying to be here for you.”

“All right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it this far. I really appreciate the kudos I've received so far. Briefly I want to say thanks to Linisy and the YOI discord group for pushing me to do what I've done so far. 
> 
> BIG REQUEST: I am in need of a beta for this story and potentially future fics. If you have any interest, then please feel free to comment or message me. Thank you!!!


	3. Maybe There's Nothing That I Can Do To Make You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's have a little chat, Chris.

Viktor put down the last glass in front of Christophe and filled it with a thumb width of whiskey.  Georgi was curled up beside Chris on the sofa with a cup of tea.  Mila was on the recliner sipping her whiskey.  Viktor settled on the floor across from Christophe with the coffee table between them.  

It had been mostly silent since they all filed into Viktor’s apartment.  Georgi had arrived just after the trio.  Viktor was hopeful that all three of them could find a way to reach Christophe.  If nothing else, he wanted to know that his friend was going to be okay.

“Two months of near wedded bliss,” Mila said, breaking the silence with a sledgehammer.  “We’ve been deliriously happy for you.  So much that we wouldn’t say anything for fear of you going back to spite us.”

“Mila…” Viktor didn’t appreciate her tone, even if it was the truth.  

“Tell us about him.  He must be impressive to have caught your eye,” Georgi chimed in.  

Christophe looked rough.  He sighed and fidgeted with the glass of whiskey.  Viktor looked him over and there were all of the signs of exhaustion and upset on Christophe’s face.  The dark circles were peeking around a layer of under eye concealer.  “It...wasn’t a thing...and then it was,” the blond said after a long moment.  

“What’s his name?” Mila prompted.  “Gotta be better than Chris’s sex bunny, but I can call him that if you’d rather.”

Mila was an antagonist fool and she grinned with a viciousness that came from knowing someone for a long time.  Under normal circumstances, it probably would have gotten a good laugh out of all of them.  This time, Viktor held his breath as he watched the darkness flash in his friend’s eyes for a long moment while he glared at Mila enough to melt her skin off.  

Nothing happened though.  One moment, Christophe was furious and the next his shoulders slumped and he looked back down at his glass.  He let out a short but sad sounding laugh.  He took a healthy gulp from his whiskey and shook his head.

“That’s better,” Mila said, her voice soft with warm affection instead of the malicious glee she had just a moment again.  She reached out and put her hand over Chris’s.  “This isn’t about being upset with you.  We want to be celebrating this with you.”

Viktor quickly nodded his agreement and Christophe looked to Georgi to see his soft smile and nod.  

“I...didn’t realize this was such a big deal,” the blond said awkwardly.  He took another swallow of whiskey and looked back down at the glass.

“Big deal?  Are you kidding?  After you set me straight with Anya, I’ve been wanting nothing more than to return the favor,” Georgi said.  The dark haired man’s eyes were bright with excitement and happiness.  Viktor could easily see how much it meant to Georgi to be able to help Christophe for everything that he had done for him in the past.

They waited on baited breath as the scales were wavering in Chris.  Finally a small weak smile hit his face and he nodded to Georgi.  Viktor couldn’t stop the bubble of happiness from spilling over.  “Start at the beginning.  We want to know everything.”

“His name is Phichit.  Phichit Chulanont,” Christophe began, sitting back against the sofa.  He rested the glass on his leg and looked over Viktor’s head at the opposite wall.  “We met at a club.  Danced, flirted, the whole regular routine.  He came home with me and I made him breakfast in the morning.  I didn’t know, but he had stolen my phone and added himself in my contacts.”

“He’s smart,” Mila grinned.  “Was the sex good?”

Christophe chuckled.  “We were both far from sober.  It was satisfying without a doubt, but I wouldn’t say it was earth shattering that first time.”

“Oh-ho!  So it did get that far?” Mila said with glee.  

The blond looked at Mila coyly.  “I’m not here to kiss and tell.”

“Actually, you probably owe us a bit of that,” Georgi cut in with a chuckle.  

“Maybe we get to the good part first.  No need to get ahead of ourselves,” Viktor cut in quickly. 

The blonde grinned, looking contently at his friends.  The tension was clearly slipping away from him and it was a bright sign of reassurance.  With Mila and Georgi making it light was easily pulling out all of the stress of the interrogation.  Friends sitting together like they should, gossiping about their romances and laughing together.  Viktor just hoped that Christophe would get to the good part.  

The blond finished his glass and put it back down on the coffee table.  “You’re a sap if you’re not interested in the details.”  It was a long standing joke that Viktor was easily the more romantic of them.  Even more so than Georgi, who could go on for hours about soulmates and the meaning of a lover’s smile.    

This was part of their usual banter and Viktor eagerly played along, sighing dramatically.  “You’re supposed to be telling us the romantic story of how you weren’t a thing, but then you were!”

“Always the romance for you.” 

“What fun would it be if I was as much of a voyeur as these two?” Viktor asked, earning him two pillows in the face.

They all laughed at that.  The last sign of tension vanished.  The moment was so familiar and welcome.  Just a few years ago, they had sat around just like this.  The joke wasn’t the same, but the feeling was.  Viktor was happy to have all of this back between them.  Drink refills were poured and Chris told more stories about Phichit.  They all cooed and teased until it became obvious that they should get food before more alcohol was consumed.

Mila got up and went to the kitchen to look through the take out menus Viktor kept for such an occasion.  Ordering was easy for all of them and they left her to it.  It also ensured that they could keep the conversation going without losing Chris to his worries once again.  

Georgi gave Christophe a nudge with his shoulder.  “What are you going to do now, Chris?”

Christophe hadn’t talked about what caused the fight yet.  Viktor was so focused on seeing the increasingly distant blonde opening up to them that he had been happy to forget about it for a while.  

Georgi seemed prepared even without knowing the details.  “Whatever happened doesn’t have to be the horrible end.  I can see it in you that he is worth every effort.”

“It’s not that cut and dry…” Christophe sighed.  “I don’t blame him for avoiding me.  What I did isn’t anything he deserved.”

“I’m sure it isn’t,” Mila said rejoining them and sitting back down.  “You’re a vicious bastard when you want to be and self destructive at your best moments.”

“Mila…” Viktor tried to cut in.  It wasn’t making things better beating him up.

“No, Viktor, she’s right,” Christophe sighed.  “Phichit found me in a rather compromising position with a pair I had met at a club.  We were supposed to meet for dinner and I guess when I didn’t show, he went to my apartment.”

“You jackass…” Mila looked furious.  

“What were you thinking?” Georgi asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know.  It was fine that morning and then he texted me about wanting to get some houseplants and he might grow a bit of catnip. I don’t know.  I just needed to get out.  I feel suffocated suddenly.  I needed a drink.  Then I was drinking a lot…” Christopher sighed.

Viktor frowned.  There was something familiar about this.  The conversation continued on around him, but he was busy chasing that stray thought.  Christophe did a lot of running.  They had briefly lived together after college, while Christopher transitioned from waiting tables or dancing on them to his first forays into sales and fashion.  

Viktor remembered seeing a wild look in his friend’s bright green eyes.  He hadn’t named it at the time, but Viktor could remember what happened before and after each time.  

The first (and only) time Viktor had bought Christophe groceries, the blond brought home twins.  That instigated the call ahead rule and led to Viktor spending a lot of nights sleeping on Georgi’s sofa.  

There was the time Viktor had hugged Christophe in what he had thought was a casual manner.  Christophe was seated on the sofa and Viktor had hugged him loosely from behind.  Christophe jumped like he was bitten and Viktor didn’t see him again for two days.  

The worst had been when Viktor officially hired Christophe as a stylist for his store.  Christophe had locked up and vanished for a week.  Viktor was going to either murder him or call the police when Christophe suddenly returned with 10 client appointments.  They hit 4 times their projected sales for the quarter in just a week.  

“You’re afraid of nice things happening to you!” Viktor exclaimed, cutting into the conversation suddenly.  All eyes turned to him in varying stages of disbelief.  “You do this all of the time. I’d do something nice for you and you’d go have sex and vanish for days.”

Mile put a hand to her forehead with a groan.

Christophe sputtered, looking increasingly concerned with what Viktor was saying.  He shook his head.  “You’re being ridiculous, Viktor.  I’m not afraid of being treated nicely by anyone.”

“But you are afraid of building something resembling permanence,” Georgi said kindly.  He looked over at Mila.  The redhead was trying to hold her tongue and Viktor feared that he had missed something important while he had been thinking.

“Commitment, you idiot,” Mila grumbled, pointing a finger at Viktor.  Why did she make it seem like it was his fault?  Viktor flushed and sputtered, but Mila waved a hand at him.  “You’re aren’t helping.  Just sit there and look cute.”

Viktor blinked owlishly at her.  What did she mean?  What had he said wrong?

Christophe laughed though.  He had a nervous look in his eyes and he refilled his glass with at least twice as much whiskey as he had put in there for the last refill.  Viktor quickly reached out and put a hand over Christophe’s free hand.  “Breathe…”  

Despite the earlier instructions, MIla didn’t reprimand him.  Christophe just stared at Viktor’s hand like it was something strange and foreign.  His breathing did begin to slow as if Viktor was slowly centering him again.  

“Chris, you shouldn’t be upset because of this,” Georgi said carefully putting a hand on the blond’s shoulder.  “We don’t think less of you.  You are not the only one to be scared in relationships.  You won’t be the last.  It doesn’t change that we’re going to be here for you no matter what happens.”   


“You’ll have to pry Vitya off with a crowbar at this point,” Mila snickered. 

“Hey!”

Georgi’s smile was warm and a bit parental.  He was frequently the one to take care of them whenever there was any kind of trouble.  “We know...what you’ve been willing to tell us.  So it’s not hard for us to see what started this,” he said.

“What do you think started this?” Christophe asked.

“That pathetic son of a bitch father of yours,” Mila growled into her glass.  She finished her whiskey and set the glass down on the table.  “Pretty much everything from the moment your mother passed on.”

Christophe frowned.  He didn’t like where the conversation was going and they could all see that.  It was a slippery slope.  They gave him a moment to see if he would tip one way or another, before Georgi took the hand that Viktor wasn’t still holding and squeezed it tightly.  

“Alright, enough of that,” he said.  Georgi made certain that Christophe was looking at him before continuing.  “Right now you have something important to do.  You need to decide if you want to apologize to Phichit.”

“I can’t fix this, Georgi…” Christophe said, crumbling a bit sadly.  

“Maybe you can’t, but can you live with yourself if you don’t try?” Georgi asked.  

Christophe looked at all of them for a moment before he dropped his head.  “I can’t…”

“Then you need to apologize,” Georgi said.  “We can help you if you need it.”

“Maybe...but I...need to talk to him first,” Christophe said.  

“And until you do, I want you in every day on time.  You’re doing the work of two people, so I’m not going to be very happy if you keep pulling that two hour late bullshit,” Mila said.  

“It would be nice...we’re trying to expand this year, it’s going to take a lot of work,” Viktor said, giving Christophe a hopeful look.  

Christophe sighed.  “I’m not a morning person...I am not going to be pleasant.”

“I buy him his second coffee every morning, one more won’t kill me,” Mila said.  

“Alright, alright,” Christophe agreed.  He still sounded disgruntled, but they knew that he would follow through.  Christophe was nothing if not stubborn.  There was a lot at stake and he wouldn’t give up so easily.  Knowing his friend as he did, Viktor had faith that this was going to get better.

***

**Messages**

 

**To Katsuki**

He has a lot of explaining to do, but he said that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t try to make amends

It’s not much, but I believe he’ll try

You wanted to be updated, so this is where we stand now

 

**To Me**

I appreciate the warning

I won’t promise that I’ll make this easy on him 

But if I catch a hint that this is going to be a repeat

He won’t be able to hide behind you again  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone I've met through discord for being supportive and listening to me while I try to piece this together. I really want to write better for you guys. <3
> 
> I'm still in need of a beta reader. I'm hoping to get one soon so that I don't go crazy with this fic and need to go back and revise a lot of it. If you could help please don't hesitate to message me or comment below. 
> 
> I'm on Twitter, too. @rainsdollies


	4. Mama Tells Me I Shouldn't Bother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit might not be completely ready to hear what Christophe has to say about his actions. It doesn't stop him from trying though.

Phichit took a deep breath and turned his face to the sun. He had just finished his yoga class and was feeling more relaxed than he had been in days. It felt so good to let all of that stress and frustration, roll off him. Nothing could bring him down this afternoon. Pushing his gym bag up a bit more on his shoulder, Phichit headed back towards his apartment. He pulled out his phone and made a little video of himself walking down the street. It was more than easy to start singing to himself softly and smiling at everyone that he passed.

It was easy to assume that Phichit was foolishly naive considering he was practically skipping down the road with Walking on Sunshine playing in the background. He’d heard it a million times and he probably would hear it over and over for the rest of his life, but he didn’t care one way or the other. Phichit was happy and he didn’t mind sharing that with everyone around him.

Taking the steps up to his brownstone apartment, Phichit started to call for his best friend as he went in. “Yuuuuuuuuuuri~!”

It was unfortunate that there wasn’t a response. Yuuri wasn’t in their apartment, probably sneaking off for another rehearsal that afternoon. There was no reason for that to deter him. Phichit could work alone on his planned surprise for his best friend. He headed into the kitchen to cook them dinner.

After everything that happened, Yuuri had been more than generous to him. His best friend had been caring and overly affectionate since the horrible night. Though, going to his job had been a little much, Phichit was honored that his best friend would do so much to defend him. Dinner was just a small way to say how much he appreciated Yuuri, even if it wasn’t really equal to what Yuuri had been doing for him.

He shuffled about the kitchen, starting with the rice. Washing and prepping took a lot of effort and was always his least favorite part. Once it was in the rice cooker, he moved onto more interesting parts of the process. Before he started on the pork, he turned on his music player and picked his happy dancing playlist.

The scent of cooking food filled the apartment and Phichit was content to let his thoughts drift for a few moments. There were still things that he needed to think through and decide what he was going to do. Most importantly, he still hadn’t decided what to do about the text messages from Christophe. He hadn’t opened them and they stared at him accusingly from the little app on his phone.

Walking in on Christophe had been an eye opening experience. They had spent two months having fun, exchanging pictures and laughing. Christophe had so many hilarious stories about all of the people he’d met or had sex with over the years. He had a great eye and could find some of the most unusual and unexpected things in the city. They had made a game of finding something amazing every day and trying to one up one another.

They were having sex, of course, but it was so much more than that. More than even Phichit realized until he opened the door to Christophe’s apartment and heard him with that man and woman. He had gasped involuntarily and that was how Christophe spotted him in his flat. Phichit ran out of the apartment as fast as he could.

Everything was suddenly falling around around him like he was in the center of an imploding skyscraper. It was hard to think or register what was going on around him. It wasn’t until later when he found himself tucked into his own bed, that he realized he must have shut down. Judging by the cold tea and his phone plugged in on the nightstand, he had finally made it back to Yuuri.

He had stayed in his bed for a while, agonizing over all of this. There was too much for him to consider. He knew who Chris was when they met in the club. Christophe’s reputation preceded him. Stealing his phone for his number had been ridiculously impulsive, but what else was he going to do with 30 pictures of Chris’s beautiful cat. He wouldn’t think about the fact that one night was suddenly two, three, a dozen. Of course, it didn’t mean anything. The most that was happening was that they were becoming friends. It wasn’t as if Phichit even knew anything about Chris outside of his current job and some of his likes. They weren’t sharing their life stories.

Though really, they hadn’t needed to. Phichit was already there.

Love was one of those things that was never the same as how someone else described it. It wasn’t always something grand and romantic like Pride and Prejudice or the Great Gatsby. It just wasn’t like that for Phichit. It was laughter and warmth. Exchanging photos just to have something new to talk about. Teaching Christophe to cook some of his favorite dishes. It was listening to the pride in his lover’s voice as he proudly talked about his recent success. Spending a lazy Sunday doing nothing but lay in bed and play with his hair.

“I’m really in love with him.”

Despite seeing Christophe in such a compromising position the feeling didn’t go away. It was freeing. He could help but feel it swell up in him. Phichit wanted to sing and dance and shout it to the world. He was in love! He was in love! He was in…

...love with an idiot.

***

The door clicked and Yuuri called out “I’m home.” Phichit grinned as he started to fill two bowls. He knew the scent would bring his best friend running.

“Phichit! Oh...you made me…” It was adorable that Yuuri was always so surprised when Phichit did something for him.

“Your favorite.” Phichit was happy as can be. Yuuri accepted his bowl with a happy sigh and looked eager to dig in.

“What brought this on?” Yuuri asked as he rushed to little kitchen table. He was seated and eating happily in less than a second.

Laughter bubbled up as Phichit took a seat across from him. “I like doing nice things for my brave knight.”

Yuuri froze, blushing into his hairline. “You…”

What was this? This was not the response Phichit was expecting. “Did you do something else, Yuuri?”

Yuuri slowly swallowed the bite he had taken. “Would you be mad if I said that I had coffee with two of his friends?”

“You did what?” Phichit gaped at his friend.

“I went to have coffee with his friends, Viktor and Mila,” Yuuri said, trying to shrink down into his chair.

“You went out and were sociable with someone other than me?” Phichit gasped dramatically. “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

Yuuri let out a strangled whimper, so Phichit quickly hopped up and hugged Yuuri. There was no sense in terrifying him needlessly.

“Don’t be silly,” Phichit admonished. “What in the world were you doing going to see them? And when were you going to tell me?”

He pulled his chair and bowl around to sit beside Yuuri. Yuuri frowned for a moment. “I didn’t know if it would bother you. You never asked me what happened when I went to see Chris…”

“That was then and this is now. Why did you meet them?” Phichit asked. He was instantly curious as he’d never met them. They were just names that filled out stories of work that Chris told.

“Viktor asked me to meet him. I didn’t know that meant Mila would be there,” Yuuri explained. “They want me help...to get you to talk to Chris…”

“Oh…” Phichit picked at his food. He wasn’t sure how to take that.

“They were being real...jerks about it. They just stressed how much he worked better while he was with you. That business was good. Sales were up. Chris actually showed up on time. Viktor was going to finally make a collection for Fashion Week. It...it was so insensitive! I don’t care that he’s a cheating bastard. They are supposed to be his friends. Why didn’t they care about how this was affecting Chris personally? Who the hell cared about their business. I snapped and said as much. That was when Mila laughed. She said that they couldn’t say anything else. That was all they knew about his life,” Yuuri said.

It was quiet for a long moment before Yuuri continued. “Phi...I think there’s something wrong with him…”

It wasn’t like Phichit wasn’t coming to that conclusion himself. There was this feeling in the back of his thoughts these last few weeks that he was missing something important. He never pushed to investigate it before. Things were just casual and they were just “friends”. All of the excuses that had hid how much Christophe meant to him.

“It’s strange, don’t you think?” Phichit asked. He looked at his best friend, resting his cheek in his hand. “I never would have accepted not knowing you.”

“We never had sex either,” Yuuri pointed out.

“No, but you didn’t want to open up to anyone either. I still found out everything,” Phichit said. He paused for a moment. “I did, didn’t I?”

Yuuri laughed. “Yes. You’ve heard my life story many times now.”

“He never asked me for mine. There were always other stories to tell,” Phichit said.

“You muted your notifications, right? Maybe it’s time to check them,” Yuuri said.

Phichit felt the weight of his eerily silent phone in his back pocket. He put it on the table and stared at it for a long moment. There was no telling what he would see when he looked at his messages. He focused his attention back on his food.

“I will soon.”

***

Soon meant after he and Yuuri sat on the sofa together and watched the most ridiculous comedy they could think of. Blades of Glory did wonders for relieving tension and they laughed as they quoted lines of the movie. Phichit cuddled against Yuuri’s side. He didn’t want to avoid looking through his phone, but he did want to be calm before doing it.

“I’ll just be in my room if you need anything,” Yuuri said once the movie was over.

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Phichit said with a smile. “Don’t worry so much.”

“Phi…” Yuuri was definitely worrying more.

“Don’t look like that. I’m going to tell you everything tomorrow anyway. You don’t need to worry your pretty little head off,” Phichit promised.

“You’ll tell me if you go anywhere?” Yuuri asked.

His laughter spilled out warm and loving. He gave his best friend one last hug. “I promise. I can’t imagine I will though.”

Phichit slipped into his room with a slow sigh. Wisely he planned for a long evening. There was a full pot of tea steeping and waiting for him. A bag of chips for when he got anxious hungry later. (Seriously a panic attack might be better for his waistline.) His phone was charged and waiting for him. It was time to make himself comfortable and just do it.

Changing his phone settings took just a moment and he pulled up his text messages. He started going through the few from his family. They were just general greetings to check in with him. He quickly replied and felt better for even the small accomplishment. There were a few work inquiries that he would need to deal with tomorrow, but the bulk of his notifications were from Chris. He had several voice messages and Phichit started with those.

“Phichit...please...I’m so sorry. Please call me back. I can’t...this is...I don’t know. Please, please just call me.”

Loud booming music came through on the second voice mail. There was laughing for a few seconds before he could hear Chris once again. “You’re missing out. I’m having a great time. I don’t need you.” Christophe laughed and several voices called out to Christophe before the call was disconnected.

“Dammit. Everything hurts...I...don’t know if I called you, but...Jesus this was a bad idea…”

“Phichit...please...please call me...I don’t know what I’m doing. Please, return my call. This is tearing me up. I’ve never done something so horrible before. I just want to apologize. Please, please, let me apologize…”

There were text messages that matched the voice mails. Including a pair of selfies that made Phichit feel a bit ill. The first one was of Chris with a pair of androgynous groupies hanging off of him. The second was clearly Chris getting head in his bed, just a dark head visible in the bottom of the photo. His face flushed as he winked at the camera. A splatter of tears hit his phone and Phichit quickly closed out of the messages.

Why did Chris do this? How could he even begin to talk to him? How did he accept Chris’s apology after all of this? Phichit opened the messages again, intent on this time reading the rest when his phone suddenly buzzed loudly. He jumped and dropped it into his lap. The ringtone sounded and Phichit scrambled to answer the phone. It was Chris.

“...Chris?” There was a waver in his voice and Phichit tried to wiped at his face worriedly. Not that Chris could see.

“Oh...you answered...oh...Phichit…” Christophe sounded so small and weak. His heart squeezed painfully with the waring hurt and worries for the other man.

“I...Chris…” He couldn’t hold it in, and Phichit burst into sobs.

“Of god, no. Please, Phichit. Don’t cry like this,” Chris tried to console him, but it blurred into a babble for a few moments. Phichit curled in on himself and he clutched the phone to his ear. It took a few moments, but he started to hear Chris once again. “...Phichit, I’m going to come to you. Just relax and have some tea. I’ll be there in just a few minutes, okay. I’m already on my way. I’m coming, okay?”

“Chris? You’re...oh...Yuuri…” Phichit sniffled onto his shirt sleeve messily.

“I know...he’s there with you, right now?” Chris asked.

“In his room…” Phichit felt so much of his strength draining with the force of his emotions.

“Can you tell him I’m on the way? He...I mean, he’d probably be smart not to, but he won’t let me in,” Chris said.

“Oh...he...yeah…” Phichit nodded. Oh he couldn’t see that, could he? “I’ll...I’ll tell him…”

“It’s okay, Phichit. I promise. I’m going to be there soon and I’ll explain myself and apologize,” Christophe said. Phichit nodded again and took a deep breath before getting up and heading out of his room.

Yuuri was collecting a water bottle from the fridge when he heard Phichit come out. “Phi!” he rushed over and quickly hugged Phichit, causing another bubble of sobs to escape him. “What’s going on? What did you see?”

“Phichit...let him know...please…”

“C-Chris is coming over to talk. Please, don’t stop him, okay?” Phichit said, letting the arm holding his phone drop the side as he pushed his face into Yuuri’s shoulder.

Yuuri tensed around him. “Are you sure, Phichit?”

“Yes...I need to see him,” Phichit said.

Yuuri took the phone from Phichit. “You’ve got 30 minutes. Don’t waste a second of it,” he said before he hung up on Christophe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive this slightly rough chapter. I am still without a beta and this one was a bit difficult for me to finish. I hope that you're still enjoying things however. 
> 
> I do not know if I will post next week as I'm pretty much caught up with myself and I'm getting distracted instead of writing ahead. I anticipate that I will be posting something, but it may not be the next chapter. Please subscribe to me if you don't want to miss it. I've been handed a fluffy prompt and I'm chipping away at that as well. <3
> 
> I'm extremely grateful to everyone who has been reading and commenting on my work. And HUUUUUUGE amazing thanks to my friends on Discord for putting up with my flopping and waffling.


	5. That I Ought to Stick to Another Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's hear the full story now. Because there's a lot that Phichit didn't expect or understand.

A quick knock interrupted the silence of the apartment. Phichit had settled against Yuuri on the sofa with a cup of tea warming his hands. Yuuri frowned and looked ready to ignore the knocking, but Phichit couldn’t. He got up and put his cup down before going to open the door for Christophe to come in. 

Christophe looked disheveled. His shirt wasn’t tucked in and his hair was a mess. Unless they had been in bed, Chris was never as ruffled as this. Dark smudges sat under his eyes, reflecting an exhaustion that looked ready to consume him. The ache that came from seeing him practically crumbling on his doorstep was awful, but it restored some balance to the conflicting emotions in Phichit. He could push aside his tears and didn’t feel so shaken. 

He took Christophe’s hand and looked at Yuuri. “We’re going to my room. Don’t bother us until I come get you,” he told his friend. 

“Phi!” Yuuri squeaked, not knowing how to accept that kind of order.

Phichit collected his mug and they went into his room. The door shut behind them, Phichit pushed Christophe to sit on the bed. “Give me your phone.”

“What?” Christophe pulled it out, but clearly didn’t understand why.

Phichit just snatched it and went through his contacts. He found the number he wanted and dialed. It connected almost instantly. 

“Chris? This is unexpected. Is everything alright?” Viktor asked. 

“This isn’t Chris, but you must be Viktor. I’m Phichit. Just calling to tell you not to expect your employee in tomorrow morning.” Phichit began to set an alarm on his phone for himself. 

“Phichit! This is wonderful. Please, take care of him. Don’t worry about his work. I’ll handle it myself,” Viktor said quickly. 

Phichit shook his head, a bit surprised by the excessive enthusiasm and ease that his demands were being met. This man really did sound like a bouncing puppy. “One more thing, don’t call Yuuri to make me do something ever again. He does not need to be involved in this and neither do you.”

Viktor sputtered, but Phichit hung up and silenced the phone. He put the phone aside and took a slow breath to collect himself. His frustrations with Christophe’s meddling friend was not necessary if he was going to finally understand everything that was going on. 

“Under better circumstances...that would have been funny,” Christophe said. He reached out and took hold of the hem of Phichit’s hamster t-shirt. The gesture was tender and the lost look in Chris’s eyes just reminded him of what was most important now. They needed to talk about everything and make sure that there was no more hiding anything for either of them.

“Christophe, I need you to tell me what happened. I need to know why and I need to know if this is going to happen again,” Phichit said. 

“There’s a lot to tell,” Chris said, looking away. His hand shook slightly. 

Phichit took hold of his chin and made sure Chris was looking at him. “I don’t care how much. You’re going to tell me and I’ll tell you about myself in return. Nothing is going to be left unsaid between us ever again.”

Christophe’s eyes widened in surprise. For a moment, there was tension from fear. The seconds ticked by and Phichit didn’t break his gaze. It was meditative in its own way, and Phichit let himself relax further. He let all of his tension from tears, frustration and anger slowly melt away with each breath. It was far from perfect, but he didn’t want to let his own feelings color anything he was about to hear. 

He let out a soft sigh and Christophe turned his head into Phichit’s hand, resting his cheek again the palm. It was a surprisingly tender position, and Phichit stroked his cheek lightly. Just a bit of comfort to balance against his direct and forceful words. 

“You surprised me that morning. You didn’t mean anything by it, you were thinking of adding catnip to your planting. You were thinking of me and Elisabeth, but I locked up. I felt like everything was closing in on me. It was suffocating and I just started to drink whatever alcohol I had in the house. After I finished the first bottle, I wanted to dance and feel the bass in my blood. It was still early so I had another bottle of wine. Everything had that soft edge and the club was just starting to get busy when I finally was able to get there. I think propositioned that couple...or maybe they did me. I don’t know. I just knew that it was so easy to feel good, no matter how empty it was,” Chris said softly. 

“You got drunk...and ran off, because I wanted to grow...catnip for your cat?”

Chris winced, pulling away. He ran his hand through his hair and his gaze shifted around the room aimlessly. Everything about his actions, screamed that he felt cornered. Unable to contain his nervous energy, he jumped up and started to pace. Phichit watched him, feeling uncertain about who was just there with him. There was no sign of the sure and arrogant man that had swept him off his feet. Where was the jokes and the confidence now? They’d been run off by this unnamed fear that looked like it could possibly smother him. 

“Chris...I’m not going to hurt you…” Phichit said. It seemed like the most appropriate thing to say. Even though he didn’t know what was going through his lover’s mind. “You’re nervous about me getting too close...is that it? We’ve been so open and lax about what we are since the beginning.”

“Yes…” Christophe said with a pause that clearly read relief. He turned to Phichit and stopped moving. “Yes...I didn’t stop to think about it before. I just...did it...well, I mean we were...Chris and Phichit...and suddenly we might become and ‘us’.”

“I hadn’t thought about it either. Not until I was running away from your apartment did it occur to me that we already moved passed casual into...something more,” Phichit said. 

“Really?” Chris moved closer to Phichit, reaching for him again. He settled on his hand, looking down at him curiously. 

“It was a surprise for me, too,” Phichit said with a faint chuckle. He reached up to Chris and put his arms around his neck, resting his cheek against Chris’s shoulder. “And maybe...maybe I called you that morning because I liked Elisabeth better.”

Chris shook with a silent laugh, slipping his arms a round Phichit’s waist. “You can’t steal my precious cat from me.” 

There was a pause, just a small lull as they grounded one another again. There was still more, but Phichit thought that Chris was going to be able to handle this next part a little better at least. He gave them both this moment, soaking in how good it felt to be in Christophe’s arms once again. He didn’t mind that he was in love with an idiot. Right now, he could believe that they would still be able to get through all of this.

“You know why you really ran from me, don’t you?” Phichit had to force himself to ask, bringing everything back to what they needed to say. He toyed with the short hairs on the nape of Chris’s neck gently. It was a comforting place for him and Phichit just wanted to make this part easier if he could.

“You were getting close, Phichit. No one gets close without hurting me,” Chris said sadly. 

“Who hurt you?” Phichit asked, pulling away to look up at Chris. “Who did this to you?”

“I’ve been trying to work all of this out. Georgi had me stay with him last night and I would have been there tonight if you hadn’t called. I thought I was just leaving you another voice mail. I wanted to tell you...that I was trying to face it,” Christophe said. 

“Face what?” Phichit pressed. He reached up to cup Chris’s cheek once again. Christophe scraped stubble against his palm so he could kiss it tenderly. “I’m not going to hurt you. I don’t know what’s going on, but I want to hurt them for hurting you.”

That brought a smile to Chris’s face and he kissed Phichit’s palm one more time. “It’s not something you can protect me from...I don’t think.”

Christophe moved them to the bed, sitting down and pulling Phichit down with him. “I don’t know if I ever told anyone this whole story. So please bear with me, I might mess this up a little,” he said. 

Phichit frowned. “Stop stalling and tell me.”

***

Growing up, Christophe had been a unique observer of a passionate romance. His mother and father had meet young and their deep love for one another was sudden and intense. Their worlds narrowed to one another and everyone was jealous of how much they loved one another. 

As couples are wont to do, they had a child. The child unfortunately didn’t quite fit into the proper equation of lover plus lover. Christophe’s mother was warm and unendingly affectionate though. His father couldn’t quite find a way to connect with the child. As Christophe got older, he liked dance and tennis. He was an athlete, but his father didn’t understand it. Why couldn’t he like football or soccer like a normal boy. Mom sheltered him from the worst of it for a long time. 

When Christophe turned 16, his mother began to get sick. Sick turned to cancer and cancer meant the end of her story. That year was like a great gaping hole for Christophe. He could barely remember a lot of it. He had loved his mother dearly and her loss meant the loss of the most important person in his life. 

There were still two years of high school and two years before independence. Two years that his father deeply resented. Suddenly, it was Christophe’s fault that his mother was dead, despite every bit of logic that said otherwise. His father mourned the loss of his wife with a bottle and a fist. Christophe was forced to escape whenever he could and he went to his closest friend’s house. 

Kellan and his mother lived alone, his father having fled before Kellan was even born. A story of a summer romance and a boy that wasn’t ready to have a relationship, much less a family. They were a warm family despite the dark backstory. Kellan was always there to help patch him up, and his mother seemed to take Christophe in as another son. Christophe loved them both with a deep affection that seemed to eclipse all of the pain his mother’s death had created. 

Christophe’s loyalty was set and he spent more and more of his time with Kellan. The boy was young and spirited. He was charming and everything you’d expect from a proper high school boy. Varsity football and baseball for the last three years. Average grades, but more than enough to get scholarships so that he could work to become a doctor. His dream of pulling his mother out of poverty would easily become a reality, Christophe had no doubt. 

It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that he fell for Kellan, and fell hard. It started with fumbling kisses and groping in the dark. But with a bit of help from books and the internet, they managed to go further. They were supposed to be celebrating graduating from high school. They planned a long summer trip where they were going to travel until Kellan needed to start his first semester of college. Christophe’s father had vanished a week before and they were making use of the empty house. 

There was a crash and yelling. His father loomed over them in Christophe’s bed, reeking of booze. His eyes were bloodshot and he ranted without hearing either of them. He knocked Kellan off the bed, sending him into the wall. Then he turned on Christophe. He had blacked out after he felt his arm snap and the blows to his head clouded his vision. 

He woke several days later in the hospital alone and battered. He called for Kellan, for his mother, for anyone that could tell him what was going on. He finally heard from one of the nurses, that his father had been arrested. Kellan had been in the hospital for a short while and he and his mother left to deal with Christophe’s father. He was being charged with assault, but they were going to do everything they could to ruin him. When word had gotten out as to why Kellan was in the hospital, he had lost several important scholarships. All of his hard work was wasted. He couldn’t even be sure if he’d be allowed to start the fall semester. 

Christophe tried to call him from the hospital. Tried to speak with his mother, but every time he was just hung up on. Neither of them would even acknowledge his existence. He had no one to turn to. He was alone. Horribly...miserably alone. 

He finally returned to his home and he collected his things. He wasn’t going to stay there longer than he needed to. He packed a few bags and found whatever valuables were still left in the house. Christophe kept his mother’s wedding ring, her dress, a necklace and a few pictures of her that didn’t have his father in them. Jewelry, appliances, anything that he could sell for something were sent to the pawn shop and he took whatever they were willing to give him. He got a bus ticket as far away as he could manage and that was the end of his childhood. 

A job was the first thing he managed to get and it wasn’t anything to be proud of. He was serving drinks in a strip club in a seedy part of town. He found out exactly why girls could feel like a piece of meat. It was also there that he met “Daddy” and learned just how he could survive in a world that couldn’t quite decide what to do with him. 

Daddy wasn’t his name, of course, but Christophe understood the arrangement enough never to push for it. He was a wealthy man, and every time he found Christophe at the club, they would retire to his home for sex. Christophe would pass out and the next morning the man would be gone. Breakfast and an envelope waited for him. He wouldn’t take the money the first few times. He wasn’t just a whore and Daddy seemed surprised but almost pleased. 

It became frequent enough that we started to talk. Christophe didn’t know the first thing about the world outside of my hometown. Understanding money, wealth, and the value of yourself was beyond him. Daddy talked about pride, vanity, and the pursuit of the all mighty dollar. Not everything he said was right, but it gave Christophe a lot to think about. He eventually started to take the money and used it to begin a career.

Christophe was able to get into a fashion school, paying his way with serving drinks, dancing and the occasional night with Daddy. The man stopped coming to the club and Christophe was offered a job at a much nicer strip club. His luck grew even more because this was about when he met with Viktor and found a real friend in the puppy-like man. 

Things came easy for Viktor and Christophe couldn’t help but feel jealous. Viktor was completely clueless though, and instead of being deterred by Christophe’s standoffishness, he celebrated all of Christophe’s strengths. He wormed his way passed all of the defenses that Christophe built up and they became close friends. He was the first person that Christophe told about his father. Kellan was never brought up though. That betrayal was still painful after just the couple of years that had passed. 

He received a degree in Fashion Marketing and he made connections with clients through the club that he danced at to start off with. He found a passion for styling and he could sell the invisible cloak to the Emperor with just an offhanded compliment. He was charming and beautiful, reveling in the power that it gave him. Power that he hadn’t had before. He was suddenly making money that was more than respectable. He had a friend that was going to be starting his own business and there was almost no question of Christophe joining him. 

Despite all of this, Christophe was empty. He was focused completely on trying to be safe and comfortable, but it was missing something. That was ridiculous though. Why should he be missing something? He could go out and have fun whenever he wanted, he never had to sleep alone if he didn’t want to. When it got to be too much to think about he would just wash it away with a bottle and a few white lines. 

It was hard to be responsible when he was running from most of his problems. He was focused as much as he could with avoiding them and then he met Phichit. Without thinking or realizing any of it, the deep root of his problems was suddenly being corrected. There was a lightness and happiness to his world now. At the time it never even occurred to him that there was a problem or a solution. It wasn’t until he began to pick it all apart with Georgi’s help that he could see the bigger picture. 

At night he couldn’t run from his fears. In the back of his thoughts, he unintentionally superimposed the faces of those in his life on that of his parents and Kellan. Drugs and alcohol drowned out the worries. Sex filled that empty feeling inside him in a mockery of intimacy and affection. It was so much easier to face the fears, and to run away when things got too close to home. Christophe was growing dependent on those crutches though and they were dragging him down at the first sign of what he actually wanted. 

It was a horrifying revelation, that he was possibly on the cusp of complete ruin. Christophe felt like a ticking time bomb that was in danger of exploding and leaving a mushroom cloud of ruin behind him. All he knew was that he didn’t want to stay this way. He wanted to be able be happy and healthy. He wanted to be better for Phichit. He wanted that closeness between them to be a balm that would help them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Yeah, I've been insanely busy this last week. I have an awful work schedule and this isn't even proofread by me so I'm not hoping for much. I can't wait until I can properly stay up late and be doing my own normal work again. 
> 
> But I did finish this earlier in the week to my great surprise and I'm so happy that I did. This came out much easier than I expected. Again, I can't guarantee an update next week, but I'll be doing what I can. Thank you so much for your support everyone. I'm really so excited to be going forward with this fic.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for making it this far. I'm hoping to be able to do weekly updates for this fic, and I promise that I already have quite a bit written for it. If you enjoy this please feel free to follow me on Twitter, @rainsdollies.


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